Motivation is central to everything L&D professionals do. Asking for larger budgets, gaining buy-in for new programs, and working with learners all depend on motivating people to pay attention, engage, and choose to retain what you offer.
It is tempting to hope there is a “right thing to say” that will flip the switch in an underperforming employee, a reluctant learner, or a change-weary team. What you say once will not create motivation that was never there. But the way you talk—over weeks and months—can either feed or starve the conditions that allow people to choose the right path themselves.
The good news is that motivation is not magic; it is a set of learnable communication habits you can build into training, coaching, and leadership programs. It is not just what you say—it is how you say it.
Sometimes you want short-term “movement”—an immediate action. At other times, you seek longer-term shifts in behavior or attitude—true motivation, which often requires changes in language, speaking patterns, and even culture.
Influencing Others by Speaking: 11 Speaking Techniques Centered Around Three Principles
To motivate others by “Saying It Better” (our term), let’s take a look at the three areas of message creation and delivery:
- Speaking: How you say it—tone, pace, pausing, pitch, rhythm—so people pay attention, engage, and trust you.
- Strategic Wording: The language you choose so messages land as you intend and connect deeply with listeners and audiences.
- Presence: How you show up—body language, poise, eye contact, movement, and environment—so your ask carries weight. We include venue factors in this element, as they can enhance or detract from your image, such as speaking on camera, mics, stages, or live.
Motivation does not come from the outside (you); it is an inside job (them). People engage when they feel three things: autonomy, competence, and connection—a pattern described in Self-Determination Theory. Vocal cues affect receptivity, wording highlights how your ‘ask’ meets these needs, and presence helps it all land.
Speaking Prosody: How You Say It Can Make or Break You
Even the best words can fall flat if the voice delivering them tells a different story. Prosody—the music of speech, including pitch, pace, emphasis, and pauses—shapes whether your message feels confident, respectful, rushed, or uncertain.
Speaking Technique 1: Speak in Your Natural Pitch
Forcing your voice higher or lower than is natural often sounds insincere or strained. A grounded, authentic pitch supports connection and credibility. Studies show that you will be 25 percent more influential in your natural pitch, which is essential for leadership and building trust.
Some Say: “Hi everyone, I’m SO EXCITED to share this with you today!!!” (strained, forced high pitch)
Say It Better: “Hi everyone, I’m looking forward to walking you through this—it can make your day-to-day work a lot easier.” (calm, confident)
Speaking Technique 2: End Sentences Declaratively, Not as Questions
When you want people to act, finish key sentences with a clear, downward inflection instead of “upspeaking.”
Some Say: “I need your draft by noon today?” (upspeak at the end makes it a question)
Say It Better: “I need your draft by noon today.” (assertive, but measured)
Speaking Technique 3: Give People Time to Absorb What You Say
After important points or requests, pause briefly. Avoid filling the space with “um,” “uh,” or “you know” (filler words).
Some Say: “This change um affects every customer, so we have to like get it right, and the steps are one, two, three, and uh also…”
Say It Better: “This change affects every customer, so we have to get it right.” [pause] “Here are the three steps you’ll take.”
Speaking Technique 4: Avoid Hedge Words
Words like “kind of,” “maybe,” and “sort of,” combined with a hesitant tone, dilute even strong ideas.
Some Say: “I’m not sure, but I guess this might be a better way to handle customer complaints.”
Say It Better: “This is a better way to handle customer complaints.”
Strategic Wording: From Magic Words to Better Defaults
Strategic wording is the intentional use of language that supports motivation by making three shifts:
- Shift the focus from “I” to “you,” “us,” and “we.”
- Make expectations clear and solution-focused, not ambiguous or blaming.
- Ask directly—and respectfully—for what you want.
In training and coaching, powerful changes often come from subtle phrasing shifts: from “you must” to “you can,” from “don’t fail” to “here’s how to succeed,” from “my needs” to “our shared goal.” Over time, these “Say It Better” moments accumulate into a culture where people feel energized to contribute and learn.
Speaking Technique 5: Shift the Focus from “I” to “You,” “We,” and “Us”
Leaders often sound more self-focused than they realize: “I need this by Monday.” “I want everyone more engaged.” If most sentences start with “I,” the hidden message is that the manager’s needs matter most.
A more motivating pattern centers on the other person’s role, benefit, and contribution:
Some Say: “I need your status by EOD.”
Say It Better: “Your update by the end of the day will help us keep the client informed and avoid surprises.”
The second version still communicates the deadline, names the task’s value, signals shared responsibility, and places the employee in an important role.
Speaking Technique 6: Make Expectations Clear and Solution‑Focused
Unclear expectations wrapped in criticism shut people down: “You dropped the ball.” “We can’t stay on this path.” People hear judgment, not direction.
Motivational speaking is direct about what is needed and points to a path forward:
Some Say: “You missed the mark in this report.”
Say It Better: “This report needs three changes to meet our standard: clearer headings, a one-page summary, and fewer acronyms. Let’s walk through one example together.”
This creates a simple structure—what needs to change, how many changes there are, and how you will support the person. That increases perceived competence: “I know what to fix, and I’m not alone.”
Speaking Technique 7: Ask Directly and Respectfully for What You Want
Leaders often soften requests so much that the message disappears—or swing to barking orders. Neither inspires the right action.
Motivating requests have three ingredients: clarity, respect, and a visible reason.
Some Say: “I was kind of hoping you could maybe help with the rollout.” (notice the hedge words).
Say It Better: “You’re good at handling tough customers, so I’d like you to lead the marketing rollout with the pilot group next month. If you’d like, we can lay out the plan together. Let me know how I can help.”
Here, you name their strength, specify the role, audience, and timeline, and offer support. When people understand what is being asked and why they were chosen, they are more likely to feel motivated than cornered.
Speaking Technique 8: Make a Clear Ask Up Front, Then Add Detail
Highlight the core request in one concise sentence before diving into the background. This makes your desired shift in behavior or effort obvious and hard to miss.
Some Say: “So, a lot is going on with this project, and we’ve got deadlines and client expectations, and I was thinking maybe you could help with the testing piece if that works…”
Say It Better: “I’d like you to lead the testing on this project. After that, I’ll walk you through the timeline and client expectations.”
Presence: Putting It All Together
Presence is how you inhabit the moment when you want someone to do something—physically, visually, and attentively. People may like your words, but they decide whether to trust and follow you based on how you show up.
Presence also plays a role after the conversation. When you follow through—checking in, providing promised resources, and acknowledging progress—you reinforce connection and competence: “My effort is noticed, and I was right to trust this person.”
Speaking Technique 9: Stand Still at the Key Moment
You do not need to be rigid, but minimizing fidgeting or pacing while you ask for action makes you appear more grounded.
Some Say: (pacing and fidgeting) “Uh, yeah, if you could maybe stay late tonight, that’d be great.”
Say It Better: (standing still) “I’m asking you to stay one extra hour tonight so we can meet this deadline.”
Speaking Technique 10: Use Steady, Appropriate Eye Contact
Brief, direct eye contact when you explain what you need and why signals respect and accountability.
Some Say: (staring at notes) “I, um, hope you’ll take this seriously.”
Say It Better: (looking at the person, then at your notes, then back to direct eye contact) “This matters. I’m confident you can do it, and I’m here to help.”
Speaking Technique 11: Manage the Environment Where Possible
Before a critical ask, minimize background distractions: turn off notifications, silence your phone, close extra tabs, reduce visual clutter, and step away from noise when you can.
Some Say: (standing in a noisy hallway) “We need to discuss your performance, but I only have a minute.”
Say It Better: (in a quieter spot) “Your performance deserves a focused conversation. Let’s sit down for fifteen minutes now so we can talk without distractions.”
From Magic Lines to Teachable Skills
So, can you motivate others by just saying the right thing? No single sentence will transform a disengaged employee or learner. But when leaders consistently combine strategic wording, speaking prosody, and practical presence, they create conditions in which autonomy, competence, and connection can thrive—and under those conditions, motivation is far more likely to emerge and endure.
For Training & Development professionals, the opportunity is clear:
- Treat wording as a core leadership tool, not a soft afterthought.
- Make prosody a visible, coachable part of communication skills.
- Develop presence as a repeatable set of behaviors leaders can use whenever they ask others to act.
There may be no single “right thing to say,” but there are right ways to speak and show up. Those are learnable—and they belong squarely in our learning agendas.
Reference
Deci, Edward L., and Richard M. Ryan. “The ‘What’ and ‘Why’ of Goal Pursuits: Human Needs and the Self‑Determination of Behavior.” Psychological Inquiry 11, no. 4 (2000): 227–68.
