By Sebastien Henry
“Asian thinking doesn’t ignore paradoxes: It turns them into harmony, as both parts of the paradox can be reconciled. This ability to reconcile paradoxes proves very useful when it comes to emotional intelligence, as it means that we don’t have to compromise.”
One of my previous bosses, the international director based at the headquarters of my firm in Europe, would often say: “Chinese people are really unnecessarily complicated.”
I would immediately think to myself (but not say aloud, as I lacked the guts to confront him on this at that time): What would Chinese people say about you? I bet they could say pretty much the same—or worse, perhaps. I would even imagine in my mind how they would say it in Chinese. That was a funny moment.
He was a friendly and professional man. It was just that he did not appreciate the core differences between Asian and Western thought. In particular, Asian thinking has developed an art of dealing with paradoxes that Western thinking has just started to integrate and appreciate.(1)
Obviously, the art of handling paradoxes was not pursued for the sake of developing emotional intelligence! Still, this particular side of Asian culture can be seen as a major contribution to the field of EI, so it’s worth a closer look.
The Art of Paradoxes in Asian Thinking
When talking about Asian thinking in this chapter on paradoxes, I refer mainly to the Dao De Jing, usually translated as The Way of Tao. On one hand, this is very limiting, since it would be ridiculous to say The Way of Tao represents all Asian thinking. Asian thinking is obviously more complex, with multiple facets. Besides, it is a fact that many people in Asia, and even in China, have never read it.
On the other hand, this fantastic little book, written more than 2,000 years ago, can be seen as one of the deepest roots of Asian thinking. It has had pervasive influence on Chinese thinking, which spread to other countries, Japan in particular.(2)
Besides, the fact that many people did not read it doesn’t mean it has no influence. How many people in the West have read Aristotle’s writings, one of the pillars of logical thinking in the West, a must-read for all educated people in Europe for more than a millennium? Still, Aristotle has had a very deep influence on Western thinking. A few more words of caution before getting into the heart of the matter:
First, I refer in the following pages to the author of The Way of Tao, Lao Zi (called Lao Tsu in some older transliterations). It is worth keeping in mind that, according to some scholars, there is no Lao Zi, and The Way of Tao is a compilation of texts from various sources. Other scholars say there was, indeed, such a character, but what we know about him is mostly made of legends. He was supposed to have lived as a scholar before vanishing in the mountains, making The Way of Tao a legacy to the last person he was in contact with. Taking into account these uncertainties, referring to Lao Zi as the author is an approximation, but it serves practical purposes.
There are dozens of translations of The Way of Tao in English, but none of them can claim to be the right translation—and they all differ, sometimes widely. The meaning of the original Chinese text is obscure in places, so there is a lot of room for interpretation for translators. I mostly use a translation I like a lot, by Stephen Mitchell.(3)
Gifts From The Way of Tao
Although very short, The Way of Tao is so deep and rich that it is used in many different ways. It is a major source for many spiritual teachers, far beyond the Taoist community, including in the West. It is also the basis of leadership courses in China (like the one at Qinghua University in Beijing, for instance). I discuss it here with a particular angle: the way it plays with paradoxes. For example:
- Water looks quiet. It doesn’t get noticed and yet is one of the strongest elements: it can erode rock. (Chapter 78: “Nothing in the world is as soft and yielding as water. Yet for dissolving the hard and inflexible, nothing can surpass it.”)
- The best leaders are those who are barely noticed by their own people. When people achieve something, they tend to say they did it by themselves. (Chapter 17: “When the Master governs, the people are hardly aware that he exists. Next best is a leader who is loved. Next, one who is feared. The worst is one who is despised.”)
- A wheel is made of bars and other pieces. Yet what makes the essence of a wheel and gives it its function is the empty part in the middle. Likewise, a room is made of walls, ceiling, and floor, and yet the most important part is the emptiness in the middle. (Chapter 11: “We join spokes together in a wheel, but it is the center hole that makes the wagon move.”)
In all these examples, two traits that seem contrasting (quietness and strength for the water, unassuming and powerful for a leader) are combined to achieve a perfect balance.
Another beautiful example is to be found is Chapter 66: “All streams flow to the sea because it is lower than they are. Humility gives it its power.”
What Makes the Way of Tao Interesting to the Field of EI?
These insights from The Way of Tao can be applied with great profit to personal development in general, and to the enhancement of emotional intelligence in particular. They make it unnecessary to choose between two traits that seem incompatible.
As leaders, we can:
- Be very enforcing, so people know commitments have to be kept, and at the same time, we can show great empathy to them.
- Take good care of the needs of our team members, while attending to our own needs.
- Communicate in a frank way, not holding back anything, while being diplomatic, making sure our message doesn’t hurt our team members or colleagues.
Although each of these three points is typically seen as a paradox, they all can be resolved. When we fail to do so, unproductive emotions are typically involved.
NOTES
(1) To be fair to Western thought, the art of paradox was apparently appreciated very well in ancient Greece. The philosopher, Heraclitus, was known for racking the brains of his followers with thought-provoking paradoxes. Still, that was more than 25 centuries ago, and this part of the Western heritage has been buried by centuries of dominant razor- sharp logical thinking. For a short introduction to Heraclitus, read A Whack on the Side of the Head, Roger von Oech’s interesting book on creativity.
(2) It is not always known in the West that several Japanese cultural monuments (Zen Buddhism, formal gardens, calligraphy, and others) have their origins in Chinese culture.
(3) Interestingly enough, Stephen Mitchell can’t read Chinese, which would seem to disqualify him as a translator. The interesting interview about the translating process at the end of the translation is worth reading. See Tao Te Ching: A New English Version (Perennial Classics), by Stephen Mitchell.
(4) This is not an assessment developed specifically to assess emotional intelligence, but I have found it provides a wealth of precious information for leaders to develop their EI. It is explicitly based on what its developer, Dan Harrison, calls the “paradox theory.” Harrison, both a psychologist and a mathematician, lives in China and has masterfully tapped into this treasure of Chinese thought.
Reprinted by permission of the publisher, John Wiley & Sons, Inc., from “EQ and Leadership In Asia: Using Emotional Intelligence To Lead And Inspire Your People” by Sebastien Henry. Copyright (c) 2011 by John Wiley & Sons, Inc. All rights reserved.
Sebastien Henry is the co-owner of Progress-U, a coaching and training company with operations in Hong Kong, Mainland China, Japan, and Singapore. He was a regional manager for Asia at a multinational company before becoming an entrepreneur and professional executive coach in 2005. He developed the “INSPIRE!” program, a leadership retreat for senior leaders conducted regularly in South China.
