“Pleasanteeism” is a new term I learned last week. It means employees who feel compelled to appear happy and upbeat at work, regardless of their true feelings.
Years ago, a friend told me a piece of advice from her father about how to succeed in a corporation. He advanced enough to become one of the few vice presidents at a major airline.
He told her that you always smile at everyone you pass in the hallway, and that you never express dissatisfaction or unhappiness.
I sort of took that advice to heart. I sort of smiled (meekly on many days) at people I passed in the hallways, and I sort of avoided expressing unhappiness. At my first full-time job, I told the company’s leaders on an employee survey that their approach to compensation was reminiscent of “The Grapes of Wrath.” Too honest? In that book, during the Dust Bowl and the Depression, employers were described as never hesitating to offer low, and still lower, pay and poor treatment because if the current batch of workers quit, there were immediately more than enough willing to take their place.
It can feel like a compulsion to say you’re OK and happy at work when you’re not, but at a young age, I didn’t feel compelled. Now, after a couple additional decades in the workforce, I feel the compulsion, and (mostly) present a happy front.
Is a Compulsively Upbeat Culture Toxic?
An article on the site, Indy100, by Gregory Robinson notes that the expectation of constant cheerfulness at work is becoming more common, and that companies are, maybe unknowingly, encouraging the trend. The leaders of many organizations may not be conscious of the need for open, honest discussion rather than a homogenous “happy” front.
He writes that there are “worries about workplaces not doing enough to help employees feel comfortable about airing their true thoughts and feelings without repercussions. Another trendy debate this year focused on ‘glossing,’ in which bosses gloss over all the tough parts of a business to focus on the so-called good things.”
Pretending to be happy when you’re not can be exhausting. It also can be exhausting to endlessly bite your tongue.
If your top executive(s) release quarterly video statements about the company’s performance, it could be a great opportunity to talk about both what the executive is feeling good about and what, both financially and otherwise, they would like to change.
Most of these video updates I saw focus solely on the company’s financial performance. What if they also incorporated an expression of personal experience from the executive?
For example, “As encouraged as I am by what our forecasting shows likely will be a strong holiday season, I am reminded of the pressures of this time of year. As our workload increases to fulfill our professional responsibilities before the end of the year, our personal lives with family and friends also ramp up. It’s important for all of us—me included—to work with our colleagues and supervisors to make sure none of us feel overwhelmed and crushed by what should be a happy time of year.”
Emotionally Intelligent Bosses Are Helpful
Some people are born with emotional intelligence. They naturally pick up on other people’s feelings, and then adjust their approach to working with them.
However, many others are, to put it bluntly, emotional intelligence idiots, especially in the workplace. A colleague or qn employee they manage could be in dire straits emotionally and they would never pick up on it.
Emotional intelligence assessments and related training are a way to better understand your own personality and approach to life, and how the way you manage life differs from others.
Adding these assessments and education to your new manager and leadership development courses can make it easier for supervisors to notice an unhappy employee putting on a brave front. It also can help the supervisor more adeptly express their own feelings around stress and unhappiness, especially during busy times of the year like the holiday season.
When employees see the company’s top executive and their own supervisor candidly expressing negative feelings, and then asking for help from colleagues and junior employees to find solutions, they will do the same.
Is your corporate culture focused on employees always being upbeat and cheerful? Or do you try to create an open, honest work environment?