Contrary to popular belief, being an empathetic leader isn’t just about feelings. It’s not about being weak. It’s not a soft skill. It’s a secret weapon. Leading is hard. Being a human is hard.
For today’s leaders, empathy is at the top of the list of skills requirements. Leaders who adopt this management style build stronger teams, exhibit better decision-making, cultivate trust and resiliency, and positively impact an organization’s bottom line. The days of ruthlessness in business are over. Thriving companies are focusing on employee engagement, happiness, and well-being.
Outdated workplace norms of grind culture, big brother monitoring, and burning the midnight oil are being replaced with trust, transparency, and supportive management styles. But with the sweet comes the sour. Some empathetic leaders find it difficult to confront others, struggle with giving negative feedback, suffer from indecision, and can be prone to burnout.
Turnover is expensive, and the leading cause of attrition is a negative workplace culture or toxicity in leadership. Loss of productivity is really expensive. If teams are consumed by fear and admonishment from their managers, their creativity is stifled, and goals aren’t met. That said, underperformance that goes unaddressed or leadership styles that remind us of the “cool parent” don’t do employees or the organization any favors. Finding a balance between fear-based leadership and one stemming from empathy isn’t easy, but it is doable.
Get to Know Yourself
Start by cultivating some self-awareness. Reflect on your mindset and identify gaps in how you relate to yourself and others. Are you more worried about employees liking you than you are meeting the goals set out for you as a team? Do you cover up or fix mistakes to save yourself from giving negative feedback or having difficult conversations? Do you engage in negative self-talk? Do you practice self-compassion under challenging situations? Identifying areas needing improvement after understanding your own reactions, emotions, and motivations is a fundamental part of being a high-performing, empathic leader.
We all need to think more about redefining the notion of psychological safety. Current practices can lack attention to the necessary boundaries that need to be established to lead with empathy successfully. Setting the tone for empathy looks like this: Demonstrating vulnerability, being transparent, promoting respect, encouraging open communication, celebrating diversity in all ways, and supporting the practice of perspective-taking. This creates an environment where team members feel safe to express their opinions and ideas without fear of criticism or retribution.
You must clearly know and establish expectations and your limitations as a manager. Your role as a leader is not one of a caretaker, parent, or mental health/medical professional. Employees must know and understand that position, regardless of personal circumstances they’ve felt free to divulge to you or other team members. As a manager, you can express concern for their safety, health, and well-being. Still, you cannot perform duties outside of your training, nor can you promise to protect them from some of the more unsavory realities of company dynamics, such as layoffs or restructuring.
Recognize, Thank and Reward
Being clear about what your team can expect from you and what you expect in return goes a long way. Work hard to listen actively, be honest, and foster good communication. Employees will notice when you listen attentively to team members without interrupting and wait for your turn to talk instead of making immediate judgments. Try to normalize project retrospectives to maintain an environment of frequent feedback while empowering team members to own and openly discuss what went well, what could be improved, and what they might want to take action on next time.
Become an expert on the importance of cultural sensitivity and inclusion. Awareness of cultural differences in communication styles, values, and norms is crucial to understanding how these differences can impact how empathy is expressed and received.
My constant advice for higher-ups is: “Inspire! Don’t intimidate!” As previously mentioned, the leading cause of attrition is a negative workplace culture or toxicity in leadership. Recognize, thank, and reward team members generously for a job well done and other leaders who consistently demonstrate empathy in their leadership roles. Learn how to celebrate wins, big or small, while transforming mistakes into learning opportunities. Positively influencing team members to take a page from your leadership script someday is a rewarding and noble position to find yourself in.
Strive to maintain a growth mindset, work on detaching your emotions and identity from accomplishments and outcomes, and practice self-care to avoid unnecessary stress and burnout. As you grow as a high-performing, empathetic leader, you’ll learn that better positioning others for success in empathic leadership lends to a brighter future and leaves the world in a better state than you found it.
