In a recent interview, swimmer Katie Ledecky, winner of multiple Olympic gold medals, said something that struck me: She said she has a motivational speaker in her head.
This isn’t the first time I’ve heard her talk about the positive voices in her head. Years ago, I remember hearing her say that when she was at a meet with the crowd loudly cheering for one of her competitors, her brain switched it around so that in her head, they were cheering her name instead.
I contrast that motivational speaker to the discouraging voices in my own head, which sometimes feel like they are plunging knives into my psyche and self-confidence. Where do I get one of those internal motivational speakers like Katie Ledecky has?
Is this something I can acquire, or do you have to be born with an internal motivational speaker? And if you were born with one or you work to acquire one, will they automatically stay with you forever? Or do you have to court them and keep them happy?
Overcoming Negative Inner Voices
I found a GQ article by Clay Skipper on “How to Overcome the Negative Voice in Your Head.”
In the article, Skipper interviewed Ethan Kross, a psychologist and neuroscientist who studies introspection at the Emotion & Self-Control Laboratory he founded at the University of Michigan. He also is author of the book, “Chatter: The Voice in Our Head, Why It Matters, and How to Harness It.”
“Chatter is like a microscope. It zooms us in on our problems. All we can think about is the stuff that’s driving us nuts. What can be useful are strategies that help us zoom out, help broaden our perspective, and help us think about it more objectively… One tool is something called distanced self-talk, which involves trying to give myself advice like I would to a good friend, and actually using my name to help do it. ‘Here’s what you’re going to do.’ It’s much easier for us to give advice to other people than to follow our own advice,” Kross tells Skipper.
Practicing Distanced Self-Talk
Can organizations train their employees to practice distanced self-talk in which they learn to give themselves the same great advice they would give to a colleague?
An employee with the potential to do gold medal work for your organization may not be able to even dip a toe in the metaphorical pool for fear of failure. They may have a voice in their head telling them not to accept an exciting new project offering growth potential because there’s no way they can do it. If that same employee were talking to a friend, they probably would be much more encouraging and logical than they are to themselves.
They would be more likely to tell a friend: “Why don’t you think you can do it? You’ve done similar work before. Sure, you haven’t done everything this new project requires before, but there’s no reason, based on your previous work successes, to assume you won’t be able to do it. And think about all you have to gain if you succeed. Don’t you think it’s worth this small, calculated risk?”
Another way to approach distancing strategy, according to Kross, is to practice temporal distancing, which Kross describes as “mental time travel.” In doing this, you think about how you will feel about the thing that’s bothering you down the road.
The way I interpret this is you might say to yourself in contemplating the new project: “What if I pass up this opportunity I’m afraid of right now? How will I feel about it a few years from now if a colleague says, “Yes,” to this project, is successful, and gets promoted while I’m still in the same job role? Won’t I be angry with myself that I didn’t take the risk and try the new project?”
Mind the Critical Chatter, Too
Of course, there also are times when you should listen to the critical chatter inside your head. Kross tells the story of how he finally cleans his house and gets organized when he listens to the critical chatter in his head telling him to tidy up.
Just as internal chatter can keep you from doing things that would improve your life and deliver you accomplishments, it also can provide useful constructive criticism.
It may be a helpful exercise to have employees think about a time when their internal chatter kept them from doing something they later regretted they didn’t do and a time when that internal chatter provided insightful criticism that spurred them to get things done.
Being able to distinguish between useful and inhibiting internal chatter may make it possible for anyone to have their own internal motivational speaker. I’m looking forward to it!
Do you help employees manage their insecurities, so they are able to change their inner narratives and achieve greater success?
