You know it’s true: People don’t leave jobs; they leave managers.
Despite all the millions of bullet-pointed tips published in business books and journals, I’ve never met a perfect boss. No matter how well we try, we all have human blind spots and quirks that make us…well, human. Humans are crazy-making creatures, but some more than others.
There are too many types of crazy-making boss to create a comprehensive list, but here are a few I’ve encountered:
- The Flummoxed: Never knows what’s going on or what to do
- The Shapeshifter: Is rarely, if ever, consistent
- The Wanderer: Has little sense of direction
- The Narcissist: The vain, egotistical god or goddess
- The Bully: Uses power to intimidate others
- The Volcano: Likely to erupt at any time
- The Nitpicker: The perfectionist who can’t let go of small stuff
- The Python: Who squeezes the life out of people
- The Enigma: Who wants you to guess what he or she is thinking
- The Entertainer: If you haven’t seen any episodes of TV show The Office (British or U.S. version), you really, really should
I’m sure you can add more to this list. Crazy-making bosses often have a complex mix of these characteristics, and so it is difficult to come up with strategies and tips that don’t oversimplify the challenge. But why let a simple thing like oversimplification stop me (oops, I think I might be one of those crazy-making bosses)?
I’ll present some tips, but before I do here’s the essence: Take responsibility for outcomes resulting from interactions with your crazy-making boss. Provide the structures and processes that your boss might not be able to. And if you are already saying, “That’s not my job!” the relationship is doomed. Move on to greener pastures, if you can find any.
Some Tips
Appreciate their strengths: It will help if you focus your attention on what your crazy-making boss does well. This might be difficult, but they usually have some—however small—saving grace. For example, a boss who is disorganized might also be empathic.
Ask questions: For your own sake, and those who might report to you, get as much clarification as you can up front. Vague statements tend to cascade confusion down the line, and if that happens, you may be perceived as an accomplice, or even the real problem. Don’t stop asking questions.
Be concise (and precise): Reading and absorbing information is not usually a crazy-maker’s strength. As annoying as it might be, make it easy for your boss to know what to think and do. Sure, he or she might to take the credit, but choose your battles carefully. You want to get recognition, but don’t want to be perceived as a prima donna.
Be proactive: Plan ahead as much as you can, especially for meetings in which your boss is involved. Fully understand the purpose of the meeting, and suggest an agenda for the boss. Pay close attention to the conversational dynamics—are there too many discussions tangential to the objectives? Are the right people getting enough speaking time?
Communicate often and directly: Many problems result from infrequent or bad communication. Find out if your boss prefers a certain kind of communication format. If your boss likes face-to-face or telephone conversations, follow up by putting key points, agreements, and deadlines in writing. Crazy-making work viruses thrive in conditions of uncertainty. Uncertainty can never be eliminated, but it can be managed.
Cooperate with your colleagues: It’s unlikely you are alone in dealing with your crazy-maker boss. Work with others to understand your shared needs, and find benign ways to meet them. Using your collective intelligence and combined creativity, you can support one another without being subversive. If you try to undermine your boss—through gossip, for example—the chances are your efforts will backfire.
Express your needs assertively, but respectfully: You cannot assume your crazy-maker has any idea of your needs; their heads are usually elsewhere or nowhere. You must be clear about what you want, e.g., priorities for planning and scheduling your work, clear guidelines, regular feedback, documentation of agreements and decisions.
Make contingency plans: Crazy-making bosses often don’t follow through on promises, so you need to think about what you will do if an important piece of information is not sent to you as promised or a deadline is shifted for no obvious reason. You may not be able to change your boss, but you can change how you respond.
Organize your sock drawer: Many crazy-making bosses are simply undisciplined and disorganized. You never want to be patronizing toward your boss, but you could spread your ideas for communication and collaboration tools and processes to the rest of the team. If the team takes them up, you could have a positive influence on your boss without having a direct confrontation. Be a role model of organization.
Problem solve rather than whine: Whining or venting to your colleagues might relieve a little pent-up anger, but bottom line, it achieves nothing. It might even come back to haunt you if not everyone is of the same mind. Clearly understand what the problem is, e.g., lack of communication or unclear expectations; empower yourself; and be responsible for finding a solution(s). Whining makes you appear weak and unable to manage the situation.
Stand up to the bully: Many bullies I have met are insecure, and often will back down if confronted. It’s not easy to do for many of us, but an ounce of bravery can save pounds of future misery. If the bully doesn’t take a more reasonable approach, document your experiences. HR might be a last resort, but if you take that path, you will want to be prepared.
A final word: Crazy-making bosses can cause you to doubt yourself. Take care. While doubt can help us find the seeds of our growth, it also can block out the light we need.
Terence Brake is the director of Learning & Innovation, TMA World (http://www.tmaworld.com/training-solutions/), which provides blended learning solutions for developing talent with borderless working capabilities. Brake specializes in the globalization process and organizational design, cross-cultural management, global leadership, transnational teamwork, and the borderless workplace. He has designed, developed, and delivered training programmes for numerous Fortune 500 clients in the United States, Europe, and Asia. Brake is the author of six books on international management, including “Where in the World Is My Team?” (Wiley, 2009) and e-book “The Borderless Workplace.”
