It’s not only what you do in this life but HOW you do it. Niccolò Machiavelli once said, “It is better to be feared than loved.” Now does that really sound like the healthiest way to interact with people in this life? If you applied this philosophy to your management style in the business world, we’re sure your coworkers or subordinates would do what you asked them to do, out of fear. However, you ultimately will be reviled and hated behind closed doors. Unfortunately, in our dog-eat-dog world, this seems to be the method of choice.
Now let’s look at it the opposite way: Maybe, just maybe, Machiavelli had limited vision and it’s actually better to be loved than feared. Think about it. If you approach your management style this way, you actually might inspire people and get the same work done! In the end, they will have done something because they wanted to do it and not because they’re afraid of losing their job if they don’t.
The former approach comes from a very negative place, whereas the latter comes from a very positive place. This approach also helps to empower people around you, and that’s really all people want.
They want to feel empowered, appreciated, and inspired. At the end of the day, they will be singing your praises in the breakroom and talking about how much they love working for you.
The Origin of an Idea
People overlook the fact that we improvise every day of our lives. We don’t think of it that way or call it improvisation, but that’s exactly what it is.
We improvise in every conversation or when we drive down the street. We often are asked to think on our feet. Whether we are making a last-minute decision on a Halloween costume or making an excuse for being late, rest assured that we are improvising.
And now, in a darkened apartment, the newly formed “Band of Brothers” had to improvise yet again. But, this time, the stakes were much higher. Wilk had given up his income when he quit his job at the comedy club. But what would we do? We had no jobs, no stage to perform on, and no one else who wanted to do it the way we wanted to do it.
And then, in the darkness, a lightbulb went on. It was then that we asked ourselves our most important “what if?” question. What if we started our own show and we implemented an environment that celebrated the power of “Yes, and”? Our destiny was about to unfold with that one question. In some ways, we will forever be indebted to that first show that brought us all together as performers; without it, the next 20 years would never have unfolded the way they did. At that time, however, it was scary leaving to set a path of our own.
Sometimes, when a person has an idea, it’s good to be a little naive and delusional. If we knew how much the odds were stacked against us, we might have quit before we even began.
For instance, take this particular idea of starting a new comedy show. The year was 1996 (a leap year!) and according to the U.S. Census Bureau, roughly more than 600,000 new businesses were created that year. According to Forbes, 7 out of 10 new businesses survive at least two years; half of those are around after five years; a third made it at least 10 years; and a quarter stay in business 15 years or more. Thank God we didn’t know those numbers back then or we may have never considered what we were about to embark on.
Wow! If you look at those numbers, it’s daunting. There are no guarantees in business. The only things we could count on were each other. Our success would come with a combination of three things:
1. Working hard at something we loved to do. Check.
2. A trust in each other and our talents. Check.
3. Being ready to seize on an opportunity when Happy Accidents came along. Check, check, check. (Seriously, make all of your checks payable to Four Day Weekend. We thank you for it.)
Whether you call it luck or a Happy Accident, a person or a business needs to be ready when a window of opportunity opens. Louis Pasteur once said, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” In other words, you create your own luck through perseverance and hard work.
But there was one more component that was needed—a supportive community that came in the form of the city of Fort Worth. The business community, the mayor’s office, and the fans of the show stood by us to help ensure our success. They are all every bit a part of this success story as we were about to embark on our new experiment.
As we, the newly formed members of Four Day Weekend, began our journey, we would remember these lessons from the last few years that would prove to serve us well.
Highlights
- The power of “Yes, and” and positive thinking.
- How we build strength through trust, teamwork, collaboration, continuously sharing ideas, and making our collective ideas better.
- The promise that, “If I make you look good and you make me look good, then we all look good.”
Chapter 1 Exercise
“Yes, And” Positive-Mind-Set Recalibration Exercise
The first exercise is simple. Say “Yes” to three things throughout the day that you might normally and instinctively say “No” to. Then document and trace back how saying “Yes” affected your day.
For instance, maybe a friend asks you to lunch. In most cases, you would find a reason to say “No” to that person. Instead you say “Yes” today. What happened during the lunch or whom did you meet that you wouldn’t have met had you declined the invitation? As you trace back the events of the lunch on paper, and follow the thread, you can see where it led you. Maybe someone you met at that lunch offered you a new opportunity, mentioned a home for sale in the area of town where you have wanted to live, or offered you tickets to a play or concert you have been hoping to see. By saying “Yes” to lunch, the universe rewards you with unexpected opportunity you otherwise would never have been offered.
Keep your “Yes, and” activity in a journal. Try it for one week, and then another, and yet another. Practice saying “Yes” and “Yes, and.”
Excerpt from Chapter 1 of “Happy Accidents: The Transformative Power of ‘Yes, And’ at Work and in Life” by Four Day Weekend. For more information, visit: http://www.wiley.com/buy/1119428564
Comedy group Four Day Weekend is the longest-running show in the Southwest. On Fridays and Saturdays, the group performs a one-hour-and-45-minute show created from audience suggestions and participation at their 212-seat theater in downtown Fort Worth. Voted Best Comedy, Four Day Weekend is a Fort Worth institution. Their new book, “Happy Accidents: The Transformative Power of ‘Yes, And’ at Work and in Life,” teaches readers how to facilitate a positive attitude and make the most of every opportunity by bringing the most valuable and productive skills from improvisation into your daily work and home life.
