More than 19 months after the American workplace was upended by the pandemic, worker stress and burnout is still growing, underscoring the urgency for employers to take concrete steps to alleviate some of the emotional burdens facing their employees.
One way to do that is by training employees in tools that help them be more resilient—to handle the ebb and flow of daily life and figure out what to do when an emotional wave threatens to overwhelm them. Without such a strategy, emotionally distressed workers won’t be as innovative and resourceful, and their difficulties will adversely affect other team members and the entire organization.
It starts by laying an important foundation: the emotional mastery process. Through this process, employees learn how to recognize when there is an emotional “trigger”—such as a disagreement with a colleague or feeling overwhelmed—and how they can deal with it calmly and rationally. It’s a process that takes some practice, but once it’s fully embraced, it will help employees gain greater clarity, experience less stress, and have more energy.
Using OCEAN as Part of the Emotional Mastery Process
It’s helpful to begin the process by thinking of the ocean. It can be calm one minute, then a stormy, crashing set of waves the next. Life is often like that, and the pandemic has shown us those crashing waves can hit when we might think calmer seas are ahead. Still, even once we’re beyond the pandemic, there will always be emotional upheavals, sometimes triggered by a person and sometimes triggered by an event.
Let’s be clear: No amount of daily affirmations or nutritional supplements or lifestyle gurus can stop these emotional swells in our lives. But what we can do is learn how to be more proactive in responding to them so our mental well-being isn’t threatened again and again. This can be done through the emotional mastery process (EMP), which uses the OCEAN acronym:
- O is for observation. The employee writes about the emotional wave that has hit. This could be a stressful meeting or a disagreement with someone. It’s important that no embellishments or emotions are included in this report, so ask the employee not to use adverbs or adjectives. The employees must ask: “What did I observe. What really happened?” The report cannot include any attempts to guess at what someone else was thinking or feeling. Don’t let the employee get hung up on the meaning of others’ comments. This step alone often diffuses the intensity of the situation.
- C is for conclusion. What did the employee conclude from this experience? This doesn’t have to be limited to one conclusion—the employee can provide several, even if they’re a little silly or far-fetched. Employees often reach conclusions based upon how they’ve been conditioned since they were a child on how to react or interpret situations in their lives. This step allows employees to see they can determine the conclusion, and which ones can lead to the desired outcome.
- E is for emotion. Once the employee has come up with a conclusion, then it’s time to ask: “What’s my emotional state?” This might be uncomfortable for the employee to write about, but assure them that dealing with painful experiences is a chance to learn and grow. When an employee concludes something negative (“Janet is always trying to take credit for my work”), they may become angry and frustrated. Or the employee may conclude that Janet doesn’t have bad motives, and decides to just ignore her so as not to cause a problem.
- A is for action. As humans, we respond to feelings with flight, fight, or freeze. Usually, people will blow up or remain silent in order to avoid a conflict. Fear prompts many people to justify, defend, or protect their actions. The employee feels threatened in some way, which arises from a distorted observation and conclusion. Employees need to ask themselves “What action did I take from that emotional state?” This is not the time to judge, just simply to record what they experience. Then they write 10 different responses to how they could have behaved differently. If this seems to be a roadblock, ask the employee to envision how they believe someone they admire would react.
- N is for net result. The employee needs to ask: “Did this action move me closer to—or further away—from my intended outcome?” The goal is to have the employee focus on the desired outcome, toward objectives that are important and meaningful to them instead of just having a reactionary response. Remember, fear will drive a distorted conclusion, which is why the employee must be precise in describing observations and conclusions.
Setting Aside Conditioned Responses
When helping employees learn the emotional mastery process, they need to understand many of the reactions that are triggered within them (anger, avoidance, overwork) have been in place since childhood. Such responses they developed may have worked for them until now, but those conditioned responses now need to be set aside. Instead, learning emotional mastery will help them gain new ways of dealing with experiences that lead them to greater inner peace, productivity, and clarity—better results for themselves and the organization.
