Great leaders lead… Except when they don’t. Leadership is certainly the topic of the day, and just about everyone wants to lead something, but even the highest-level leaders have to follow someone. They have to lay down their own plans and follow the plans of others. They have to submit to the authority of others. And if they can’t, there is going to be a problem.
The high-potential employees dream of being vice presidents. The vice presidents dream of making it to the “suite seats.” The C-suite dreams of being the CEO, and the CEO thinks he or she has made it, only to find out that now instead of one boss, he or she has 12—that would be the board of directors. And before you think being on the board of directors is the top, remember the shareholders. So learning to acquiesce is all part of it. There just isn’t going to be a day when a leader no longer has to give into the goals, wishes, and needs of others. There is no real king of the mountain. We are all interconnected. Many will lead, but all will follow.
We’ve Lost the Ability to Follow
Leadership is changing, and everyone is experiencing the changes. Instead of command-and- control, now we have ask-and-influence-type leadership.
Even in the military, it’s not as command-and-control as it used to be. This is better, and it ultimately gains greater buy-in and employee engagement, but somewhere along the line, I think we’ve lost something. We’ve lost the ability to follow.
If the boss asks his or her employee to do something, it’s true that the employee doesn’t have to do it. But if the employee actually doesn’t do it and it still needs to get done, the boss is going to have to find someone who is willing to do it. The boss, in this situation, has to give the direction, and someone has to follow it.
Now if you’re the boss and one employee says, “No,” to your request, and the other employee says, “Yes,” which one are you going to rely on next time? Which one are you going to consider for promotion? Which one are you going to let go if finances require a reduction? I’m sure it won’t be the one who does what you ask.
So it’s true that employees can say, “No,” today and potentially keep the job, but the job still has to be done, and it’s the hard working, get-it-done, arrive-early/stay-late, can-do employees who will be called on again and again. They will shine in a sea of entitlement. They will thrive, get promoted, and end up in the leader’s seat wondering what to do with the people who say, “No,” when a job needs to get done.
Demographic statistics tell us that there is a huge gap in the workplace and it is getting wider in the leadership levels as more Baby Boomers make their exit. There are not enough prepared leaders to fill the seats. As leaders and organizations look for the right leaders to groom and stretch into the top positions, they are going to look for the leaders who will roll up their sleeves and do whatever it takes to help the organization. Often that is leading, but sometimes it is following, and it’s going to be the people who can follow who ultimately will be able to fill the gap and lead. An inability to follow is a derailer.
What Keeps Leaders From Being Able to Give in to Others?
Usually, its either fear or pride.
When it’s fear, the leader is afraid that the other person is taking the organization down the wrong path or the other leader will be seen as more powerful or credible. Leaders who are acting out of fear rarely realize it. Fear is at the root, but we usually do not see the root. We usually see other more surface-level behaviors. Those behaviors may look like political game-playing, triangulation, and blatant positioning. These are “fight” behaviors. In the extreme, fear can trigger “flight” behaviors. In these instances, the leader threatens to leave, quit, or sue rather than rationally working through a decision-making process. Behaviors driven by fear are often destructive, and, even worse, if the leader does not understand that he or she is acting out of the fear, the behavior is bound to be repeated throughout a bumpy and potentially painful career.
Sometimes it’s just pride. If the leader feels he or she is the smartest person in the room, then any attempts to go a different direction must be lacking crucial information, thorough analysis, or basic intelligence. These leaders often come across as bullies, berating others and giving off nonverbal signals of frustration, anger, and annoyance that anyone would dare to challenge his or her ideas.
Inability to listen also can be a contributor. If the leaders does not have good listening skills, even the most influential contributor to a decision may be overlooked. The non-listening leader may be impatient, unwilling, and unyielding in his or her pursuit to implement a specific direction.
Steps to Take
So what can leaders do? Here are a few steps leaders can take:
- Test ability to follow: Is the leader willing to follow the vision and direction of others? Some who fail to follow do so because they continually focus on “my position” versus the interest of the team, organization, or shareholders. A good leader allows others to challenge his or her position without feeling personally threatened or insulted.
- Determine who is in charge: From time to time, I’ve encountered leaders who simply cannot get along and must part ways. Often this is because they have two different visions about either the strategy or the culture of the company. Two visions = division. Anything with two heads is a freak, and that includes companies. There ultimately has to be someone or some mechanism (such as a vote) for making decisions, and the leaders have to acquiesce to that person or mechanism. I’ve seen this play out many times in businesses where there are two owners, two presidents, or two managing partners. It may work in some instances, but I’ve never seen it work well. Someone has to make the decision and the other person has to accept the decision.
- Listen: A leader who is willing to be influenced is willing to truly listen to others point of view. He or she may even take time to argue for the opposite side in order to test the idea and see if it is actually better than the one he/she put forth. A good listener is not listening to agree or disagree but to understand.
- Get on board: When a leader does acquiesce, a good attitude is crucial. If the leader continues to grumble and complain about the direction or decision, then that leader is out of line and detrimental to the success of the team or organization. It’s fine to debate a decision or a direction to a point, but when the person or mechanism with the final say makes the call, it’s time for the leader to get on board and act as if it were his or her decision all along.
- Be open to learn: Even then best leaders have a lot to learn from others, and decision-making time is a good time to learn. The idea or direction may not be the leader’s, but he or she may learn something valuable and or powerful from the determined direction and the discussion that took place to get there. A good leader is coachable and ready to gain both knowledge and skill from others, whether the other person is a subordinate, the boss, the board, the customer, or the shareholders. A good leader will be open and willing to learn from others.
In my work, I’ve seen owners, partners, and co-presidents rip apart organizations, causing financial and interpersonal damage due to both leaders’ inability to acquiesce. It doesn’t have to be that way. Admittedly, the drive to fight and win may be the very behaviors that caused the organization to be successful, but those same behaviors eventually can turn into stumbling blocks. Different behaviors are required for different times and phases in the business.
For the organization, for the team, for the customers and the shareholders, learning to follow from a leadership position is just as important and leading from a position of authority.
Bonnie Hagemann is CEO of Executive Development Associates, a 29-year-old boutique consulting firm in custom executive development. Hagemann specializes in executive development, executive coaching, and high-potential development. To date, Hagemann has conducted coaching programs for more than 65 leaders in medium and large organizations. She has delivered more than 250 presentations and speeches on leadership, teambuilding, communication, conflict, and behavior. She has 11 published works and is co-author of the 2010 book, “Decades of Difference: Making It Work,” on the shifting workforce demographics and their impact on leadership. She can be reached at bhagemann@executivedevelopment.com or 816.830.6001.
