Every day, my phone beeps, buzzes, and chimes with hundreds of alerts, notices, and messages. I am sure yours does, too. Add to that all the Zoom calls, deadlines, meetings, and family pressures, and before you know it, the idea of taking a few moments to understand how someone else on your team feels sounds like a frivolous indulgence. What’s worse, if I do take the time, is there any guarantee the other person will open up and tell me what they think?
If you want to tone down the noise in your life and get to the signal that can make the day count, that is precisely what you must do. Connecting and understanding someone else’s viewpoint has a name: empathy. The word has been battered around so much that I often forget what it really means.
A study by Ernst & Young LLP found that empathetic leadership inspires positive change (87 percent), fosters mutual respect (87 percent), and drives productivity (85 percent) among employees. Cultivating empathy within an organization is not just about understanding others; it’s about fostering an environment where authenticity thrives, even in the face of challenges and mistakes.
Embracing Mistakes with Authenticity
Everyone makes mistakes; the natural impulse is to conceal them, hoping they’ll go unnoticed. However, this often exacerbates the situation. Have you ever watched the Disney classic, Fantasia? Mickey Mouse sneaks into the Wizard’s book, casting a spell to automate the mops and buckets to clean the wizard’s tower and fill his water reservoir. But once they start, Mickey is unable to turn them off. The buckets keep coming, flooding the tower and creating mayhem. The more intervention Mickey tries, the faster the animated mops and buckets perform, making things worse and worse. How many Fantasia situations happen in your company because a co-worker does not want to admit they are in over their head?
But there is hope. In the right culture, when mops and buckets spin out of control, a colleague will admit a mistake, and the team can solve the problem. One time, a new hire on my team misunderstood his instructions. He changed a client’s production password without telling anyone. Why was that bad? Because that password was used by the system integration software to authenticate. After he left work, the client’s system went down for 12 hours overnight until he returned and notified everyone what he had done.
The initial temptation to deny involvement was strong, but the team member chose a different path. They owned up to their mistake, enabling us to move quickly into “resolve” mode. Despite initial frustration, the client appreciated our transparency and continued to partner long-term. This experience taught us authenticity breeds trust, even in the most challenging circumstances.
Emotional Poise and Gratitude
Two fundamental principles underpin fostering empathy and authenticity in the workplace, especially when mistakes happen: emotional poise and gratitude.
Emotional Poise: When things go wrong, everyone will look to you. What will they see? Will you yell and scream, amping up the fear and adrenaline? Will that produce the best performance? No. When confronted with a mistake, maintaining composure is essential. As leaders, we set the tone for how such situations are handled. I have found that a jaunty ardor and willingness to take on the challenge focuses everyone on performance under pressure. If you can create the right mood for the team, they will pick up on it and emulate it. As a result, communication will flow, and you will start to get collaboration.
Gratitude: Expressing genuine gratitude for honesty reinforces a culture of openness and trust. Acknowledging vulnerability takes courage, and it’s essential to recognize and appreciate this bravery in others. I had a big breakthrough with one of my own executives (who will remain nameless) last month. At our quarterly offsite, she admitted she did not understand a critical process in her department. It took courage for her to admit to ignorance. While “What do you mean you do not know? That’s your job!” is what she was afraid we’d say, my actual response was: “I suspected that was the case, but I didn’t want to call you out. It took a lot of courage for you to admit that in front of all of us so why don’t we focus on fixing the problem and getting you up to speed?” Mops and buckets shut down!
Practical Strategies for Fostering Empathy
So how do you start providing feedback that is sincere and open without being demoralizing and overly critical? Here are some of my favorite techniques.
“Start, Stop, Continue” Method: Instead of unloading all the critiques and advice I have for someone, I focus on answering three things:
- What is one thing I want them to START doing?
- One thing to STOP doing?
- One thing to CONTINUE doing?
Everyone can take criticism, and most will admire and appreciate you, but it’s up to a point. Criticism is like medicine. A little makes things better. A lot will kill the patient. Start/Stop/Continue is excellent because it is honest, focused on behavior, and self-limiting.
The “BAT Triangle”: A concept pioneered by Sandler Training, the idea that behavior, attitude, and technique are interdependent triangles that affect each other is powerful. When diagnosing an underperforming situation, determining where the problem lies is often a useful technique for pinpointing a solution. Pro tip: When in doubt, focus on behavior. If the behavior is right, the attitude and technique will follow.
Empathy in Action
Empathy isn’t just about understanding; it’s about action. By empathizing through focus—providing clarity amid chaos and supporting individuals in prioritizing their efforts—leaders can empower teams to navigate challenges confidently and resiliently.
Cultivating empathy in the workplace isn’t just a lofty ideal—it’s a practical necessity for thriving in today’s fast-paced business landscape. By embracing authenticity, practicing emotional poise, and expressing gratitude, leaders can foster a culture where mistakes are acknowledged, growth is celebrated, and individuals feel empowered to be their true selves.
By incorporating these practical tips and strategies, organizations can nurture empathy through authenticity and resilience, ultimately creating a more productive, respectful, and positive work environment.
