Knowing how to communicate well in virtual training sessions is a bit like working out how to speak to a stranger with no common language. The days of the presentational style of the Webinar, with muted, passive participants and lengthy slide shows presenting information may, thankfully, be almost over. However, the “new rules” of play in the interactive and fully engaged environment of a “Webconnect” are still emerging, as we learn from experience, keep experimenting, and get ready for the occasional embarrassing mistake.
The term, “etiquette,” of course, refers to the (often implicit) “rules of behaviour” used in any given situation, such as, for example, how to behave while in the company of your parents-in-law, how to eat in polite company, how to greet a stranger from a different culture, and so on. We are all familiar with the embarrassment caused by an unwitting breach of social etiquette —and in many cases, the detriment that can be caused to career or relationships—when, for example, one unwittingly occupies the boss’ chair at a meeting in cultures with a strong respect for status and hierarchy.
While in virtual space it is not actually possible to steal the boss’ chair, it is possible to cause disappointment or offense, or to simply bore people into passive submission, if we do not consider some basic rules of communication, or “Net-iquette.” And this may mean considering some aspects of communication in far more detail than we ever would conceivably imagine doing in face-to-face contact. Of course, a face-to-face conversation is a great deal more complicated (and heavily contextualized) than it may appear on the surface. We are so used to communicating in this way that we hardly notice how much each person does to make eye contact, or try to read the non-verbal gestures and facial expression of the other, and connect with him or her in a meaningful way.
In cyber space, the non-verbal messages are largely lacking, or at least greatly reduced, even via a Webcam. So while in a face-to-face conversation it would seem bizarre to ask a trainer, or colleague, “How would you like me to interrupt you when I disagree or have a question?” in a virtual session, it is often imperative to establish this basic conversational rule.
Indeed, knowing what you as facilitator/trainer want and expect regarding the “small rules” of communication in your virtual session makes life clearer and more comfortable for everyone. Just as importantly, it is these small, apparently minor rules that help to establish the mood and atmosphere of your session or meeting. The following are some ideas from our experience at Nomadic International Business Psychology that work well for us. But there are no “absolute” rules here. Feel free to add to, or otherwise edit, this list according to your own needs and working contexts.
- Participants need to be audible for the entire session—in other words, not to be placed on “mute” unless there is disturbing background noise. Why? Muting everyone is not known for its effectiveness in building relationships and creating engagement.
- Try to get everyone speaking at the very start of the session. The longer someone stays quiet in virtual space, the harder it often becomes (for some people) to speak at all.
- Silence tends to weigh more heavily when we cannot see the people we are talking to—what do we want participants to do when there is extended silence, if anything? What might we consider doing if several seconds of silence come unexpectedly and we want to know what is happening?
- How do we want participants to interrupt us during the session, if at all? Should we invite them to just “jump in” aloud, or by writing on the slide, in chatspace, and so forth?
- What do we want our attendees to do if they wish to ask a question? Speak up? Write in chatspace, or in the Q&A space, if there is one? Wait until questions are invited? E-mail us?
- What kind of “mood” or “tone” do we want the conversation to have? Relaxed? Spontaneous? Formal? Structured? Entertaining? Serious? Inspiring? Reflective?
- Is it OK for participants to chat to others behind the scenes via Chatbox, for example, so that the facilitator is not included in the conversation?
- How much support do we want to offer participants if they experience a technical problem? Will we do this through a producer, and if so, how will we communicate with him or her? Or, if contacting participants direct, will we do so by phone, e-mail, or a platform such as Skype?
- If participants want to leave the session, should they say goodbye? And what about just going for a comfort break or to get coffee—should they bother telling people? Should they put themselves on mute to keep background noise down for the rest of the participants?
All these questions, and others, relate to the rules of play when working virtually. If participants join a session without knowing what is expected of them, they quickly may feel uneasy, confused, and ultimately disengaged.
Virtual etiquette, to this extent, is not just about ways to behave, but also about your professional and cultural values—the kind of atmosphere you seek to establish in cyber space, how you want your participants to feel when working with you live online.
Whatever your own virtual etiquette, it is a good idea to do the following in any “one-off” session or when starting a program with a new group:
- Discuss and clarify the rules at the start, so people know what to expect and how to contribute. Some teams like to negotiate their own team communication rules, a useful exercise and powerful bonding activity for all concerned.
- Talk about virtual etiquette, which not only avoids confusion but also creates comfort, and a more relaxed kind of interaction. This, in turn, builds confidence, trust, and a safe space for a productive, explorative dialogue.
Excerpt from “Live Connections—Virtual Facilitation for High Engagement and Powerful Learning” by Fredrik Fogelberg and Jude Tavanyar (May 2015). The book is available both through Nomadic International Business Psychology at www.nomadicibp.com and from Amazon.
Fredrik Fogelberg is the owner of Nomadic International Business Psychology, a consultancy specializing in international leadership development, based in the Netherlands. He draws upon almost 30 years’ experience in corporate training, cross-cultural training, executive coaching, and team facilitation. Since 2008, when many global organizations turned to remote working, he has been building expertise around virtual teams and their leadership. His special interest is in the group dynamics of intercultural teams, both co-located and geographically dispersed.
Jude Tavanyar is an international leadership coach, group facilitator, and trainer working since 1987 across Europe, and in U.S., Asia, and Africa. She has worked with global corporations in all industry sectors, training and coaching senior executives to CEO level. Tavanyar began her career as a virtual facilitator in 2010, when she trained as a participant on Nomadic’s Virtual Facilitation Skills program. She now delivers some 50 percent of her training and coaching over the Internet.
