Essential Tool #1: Your Character Compass
Character is the most important and most under-appreciated tool at work. There are many meanings of the word, all of which have practical uses. They include the following:
- A fictional person represented in a film, play, or novel
- A quirky individual: “he’s quite a character”
- A symbol in a writing system, such as letters in an alphabet
- The complex mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person
When we talk about character in this book, we’re using the last of those definitions, and it is anchored in our relationship to ourselves and others.
Character
Character is developed by enacting your values consistently over time.
Character is the anchor for all of the risks you’re going to take while learning how to use the tools in this book. Many challenges at work can be alleviated when we can talk about the values that influence our choices and behaviors. When you know how to perceive and talk about your own values and use them intentionally, you gain confidence in your own abilities and can feel very grounded in how you work and connect with others.
With almost any topic or circumstance, the personal experience and character of a conversation matter most when working with humans. You and a colleague may share an interest in quantum physics, but if she is dismissive and rude to you every time you talk, it doesn’t matter if she’s a perfect match to your intellect—who wants to chat with a jerk? Conversely, you may disagree about who should win Dancing with the Stars or the World Cup, but if your debate is respectful and appreciative of your shared love of the event, you can argue vigorously and still have a great interaction. In either case, the underlying qualities of character that you bring to the conversation are what stabilize and contextualize the interaction overall.
Qualities of character—the values you use to make choices—are the bedrock of everything you do at work. They are your touchstone for every choice you make. The importance of character is a millennia-old idea, but we don’t discuss it much. It’s a topic made of timeless ingredients that require reflection. Character is often left out of conversations about what it means to be successful. It’s not flashy, quantifiable, or easily obtained, but it’s part of what makes working with others easier. Talking about character is something we need to do with purpose because it’s good for us—kind of like making time to exercise, eating our vegetables, and getting enough sleep. None of those things are revolutionary but, without them, the revolution is way harder than it needs to be.
If character is so good for us, why have we forgotten to include it when we work with humans? Because the business of productivity works faster without it. When doing more, being the best, and hitting all your targets is the principal focus of work, there is little time to discuss the manner in which we do those things. The “manner in which” we do things is where we can infuse our actions with humanity and care. It’s the sweet spot in working with humans. Without character, you can become removed from the value of your work, and that can break your spirit. Character is one of the three Essential Tools because, when you operate without it, work can feel horrible. And you may, too.
Fortunately, once you explore your own character and talk about its importance with others, you quickly become aware of its importance in all you do. It may feel like coming home, or like articulating something you’ve needed but haven’t known how to talk about. It’s the essential basis of getting good at working with humans, which is why we look at it first.
Your Character Compass
Your Character Compass helps you use your values in a practical manner to work better with humans every day. Yes, it’s a commitment to accept this kind of responsibility for yourself. It requires effort. All good things do. It requires you to pay attention to yourself and your effect on those around you. It’s also totally badass because most people avoid doing it. Which means you can excel in ways you can’t yet imagine.
As you continue to use your Character Compass, you’ll notice you gain calm confidence in those surprising conversations that used to throw you off or shut you down. Other people will notice, too. That will build your reputation as a person who knows themself well and is consistent in how they treat others. People will want to know how you are able to communicate so well in so many unexpected and awkward moments. You will tell them it’s because you know who you are and what you value—that you make choices that are true to your character. It’s a great feeling.
Have you ever heard the word values at work and thought, “Yikes! Talking about values at work? No, thank you.” Certainly, when “values” are wielded with loaded meanings, we should question how the word is being used; examples include:
- “Family values”—a term that leaves a lot of opportunity for political or religious meanings to be inferred. This is heavy-handed and exclusionary.
- The corporate “Values Statement”—frequently BOR-ing (and often inconsequential if not used within the context of behavior and operational decisions)
- As a verb: Shawna values her job. It’s important to notice the opportunities and experiences that we find important in our lives.
Each of these is worth recognizing. But what you need as a baseline for becoming a superstar communicator at work is to know and use your values practically and in realtime at work. That’s why we ground them in the context of character. That’s the game-changer other values exercises skip. It’s what I call your Character Compass.
